How to Build a Relationship with God
Is there such a thing as a “good” Christian? Whether there is or isn’t, I’ve spent a lot of time believing that I’m not one.
I see all of the things that people are doing in their relationships with God, and I feel so inadequate; like I’m a total disappointment. So I haven’t been seeking how to build a relationship with God. Instead, I’ve been focusing on how life is difficult and if I can even trust God with my life.
All of these feelings and lies I’ve been struggling with are finally bubbling to the surface and affecting my mental health, and I’ve spent a lot of time crying out to God, pleading for help.
His help has felt slow-coming, but I’m finally entering into a place of hope, and I’m hopeful that I can fully surrender to God and trust Him completely with my life.
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How to Build a Relationship with God
If you’re in that space, wondering how to build a relationship with God, then I’d like to offer you some encouragement and some pointers of things that I’ve done to help my situation.
Get in the Word.
Psalm 119:11
11 I have stored up your word in my heart, that I might not sin against you.
As in any relationship, if you want to build a relationship with God, you need to get to know the other person. The best way we can learn about God and His character is by spending time in His Word.
The Bible is a sacred and invaluable resource for believers, and if you live in a place with unrestricted access to God’s Word, please don’t take that privilege lightly! Thank God for providing you with His Word and start spending daily time in it to get to know Him better.
Pray.
Philipians 4:6-7
6 do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. 7 And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Relationships are built on open communication, so if we want to build a relationship with God, we need to talk to Him through prayer. The indwelling of the Holy Spirit allows a direct line of communication to God at all times. We are able to talk to God, and we are also able to hear from Him, through quiet whispers and loud shouts.
Learn how He communicates with you, and make sure to take time to listen. It’s easy to say all that you have to say and then move on and think about the next thing you have going on, but give God time to respond. Pray without ceasing and listen for His response.
Be open and honest.
Proverbs 21:2
2 Every way of a man is right in his own eyes, but the Lord weighs the heart.
Our actions can make it look like we’re doing everything right. We can be attending church, helping people in need, reading our bibles regularly, and even praying, but if our hearts aren’t in the right place, God isn’t going to fall for this façade.
Many times, I don’t even think I’m putting on the show for God. It’s for myself. I don’t want to admit (or I don’t recognize it in myself yet), that things aren’t right with God, so I continue with these actions, thinking that everything is fine when really, I’m falling apart inside.
I need to be honest with God (and with myself) of how I’m truly feeling. I have been struggling to connect with God recently, and I have kept up with all the things I think a “good” Christian should be doing. But that weight of disconnect has just been growing, and I’ve felt completely lost and separated from God. And that’s when I completely broke down and “quit.”
Quit the whole show. Threw down the mask of the “good” Christian I thought I was wearing. I laid it all on the table – or more accurately, I laid it down at his feet.
In my mind, I just started yelling at God. Telling him all my hurts and expectations and fears and hopes and confusion. Everything I’ve been struggling to hold together and balance without dropping, I threw it at His feet. And I prayed that He would step in front of it all and block me from picking it up again.
God knew this whole time that I’ve been angry at Him; I’ve just been pretending I wasn’t – either for my sake or His, I’m not quite sure yet. My heart wasn’t in the right place, so of course I wouldn’t be able to connect with Him.
But God is so faithful, and after that horrible mess and me crying myself to sleep, I feel so much lighter than I have in a long time.
In order to build a relationship with God, we need to be open to sharing how we are truly doing so that He can meet us in that space.
Dear God, thank you so much for the opportunity to build a relationship with you. I am so grateful that we can seek you in your Word, through prayer, and by completely opening ourselves to you.
I am grateful that you can handle my true feelings and that you embrace me when I approach you with my hurts and anger. Thank you for being the sovereign Lord of all. In Jesus’ name, amen.
Nothing has actually changed. Everything I’ve been holding onto is still a factor in my life, but I don’t feel the weight of it anymore. My chest feels lighter, and my head feels clearer.
I am trusting, just a bit more, in God and His sovereignty. I am trusting His love for me. I am trusting that He truly has everything figured out, and no matter what I do, I can’t permanently mess up His ultimate plan. There is peace in knowing that God’s purposes will prevail and that I can’t mess it all up.
I had to make it to the end of my rope before I was willing to let go of it altogether. While I’m definitely not “fixed,” I do have more hope than I did before. And that’s a big start to build a relationship with God.
Blessings Friend.
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